Thursday, July 31, 2008

My Eyes!

My XBox 360 is still working fine and dandy.

If I still have any readers who aren't refugees from my LiveJournal, maybe you can answer a question. What is the "lucid" video setting in Gears of War? I know default is brown, soft is fuzzy brown, and vibrant is less brown. But what is lucid?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Frog Blast The Vent Core!

My 360 is still in working order. This is all you really come here for anyway, isn't it?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Big Tough Manly Games

My XBox 360 is still working just fine, thank you.

I see some of the stuff for the upcoming Gears of War 2 and I start to worry. With each new gameplay video or screenshot it starts to look more and more like Halo. That wouldn't be a bad thing if I wanted to play Halo, but I want to play Gears of War. Hopefully the gimmicks don't overtake the core gameplay, hopefully.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I Eat Lions

My XBox 360 continues to work properly. How many different ways can I say it?

I've heard some people accuse Gears of War of having homo-erotic subtext, but I honestly don't see it. I guess some people look at the game and say "there is no woman on screen, therefore all the men are gay." Personally, I think that if you're seeing homo-erotic subtext (as opposed to those works with explicit homosexual themes) in media, it says more about you than about you than it does the media.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Follow Freeman!

My XBox 360 is still running strong.

And I don't care what Mossman says, I'm declaring the gravity gun to be a toy! I can find no practical applications for its awesomeness!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Even Greater Failure

My XBox 360 is still running just fine. And I have nothing else to say, unfortunately.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Maybe It's Therapeutic?

My XBox 360 is still up and running.

I challenge someone with arachnophobia to play through Earth Defense Force 2017 without ever once becoming uncomfortable. Actually, the methods displayed in that game are the same ones I use to deal with spiders in my house.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Remember The Marathon

My XBox 360 continues to work properly. It seems I have yet to jinx it with this blog.

I find it interesting that the longer someone has followed the Halo franchise, the less interested we get with each passing installment. I was following Halo back when it was entirely rumors and innuendo. When we finally started to see gameplay and story details, it was going to be a squad-based third-person shooter exclusive to the Sega Dreamcast. Things have changed a bit since then.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Wall

My XBox 360 continues to function normally. Seriously, after over a year of this I'm losing sympathy for all you RRoD people.

I know Tom Clancy is a touch on the conservative side of the political spectrum, but do you think the people behind "Ghost Recon: Advanced WarFighter" could have made the bad guys a little more "Traffic" Mexican and a little less "Mind of Mencia" Mexican? Yes, I think GRAW is less racially sensitive than Resident Evil 5.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Crippling Lack of Imagination

My XBox 360 continues to work normally.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Giant Killer Robots

I'm starting to run out of ways to say that my XBox 360 continues to function without problems. So I'll just say plainly that it's still working.

And Kamille: next time you want to start angsting over "why everyone keeps dying" please consider that, as of the Gryps Conflict, YOU are the leading cause of death in the galaxy.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Why Everyone Keeps Dying

In the life of every XBox 360 there comes a time when it must retire, and a red ring descends to let us know that the time of passing is at hand. At least that's what I heard, because mine still runs fine!

Blizzard has announced that the next expansion to World of Warcraft will now feature "Achievements" akin to what is already seen on the XBox 360. And like XBox achievements they will have many practical applications, such as serving as a measuring stick for your e-penis and... uh... other useful things I'm sure.

Thursday, July 17, 2008


The XBox 360 continues to survive, though I don't think it appreciates me constantly yelling at it that Zechs "is a CHAR!"

No real news to mention except talking murloc plushies (
Part of me died inside.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

And That's The Way It Is

My 360 almost froze up today, but it was a false alarm and it continues to run fine (probably my fault for trying to put Char in the Epyon).

So rumor has it that Resident Evil 5 will feature multi-player. Since multi-player worked out so very well in Resident Evil: Outbreak. Ah, I remember the hours wasted while my partner ran into a wall and mouthed off at me that it was my fault. And everybody was a cop. Everyone.

Also, the Nintendo Wii will finally be getting a motion sensitive controller. I'm glad that it is because it could really use one. It theoretically has one now, but I've never seen anything happen on screen that even remotely corresponded to what I was doing with the controller.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

In Other News

My XBox 360 continues it's brutal reign unopposed.

Having seen the trailer for the upcoming Max Payne movie I can only hope the trailer is lying. There had better not be angels or similar supernatural elements in the movie. If there are angels than the movie would have to be incredibly kick-ass to make me forgive this betrayal of the source material.
Also Square-Enix has announced that Final Fantasy 13 will be a multi-console release. And I couldn't care less. Mostly because I'm not a big Final Fantasy fan. The only time I enjoyed a Final Fantasy game was when I used the GameShark to break Final Fantasy 10 so hard you could hear the audible cracks in the programming code. And I'll admit to be curious about Final Fantasy 12 because I'm told it's the Final Fantasy for people who hate Final Fantasy.
Some people are calling this the final nail in the PS3's coffin. I'd say it isn't. I love my 360, but honestly the PS3 is putting up stiff competition here in the States and is dominating the global market. A crippling lack of any interesting exclusives notwithstanding. Some say that the XBox performs poorly in Japan due to marketing problems, but I'll just say that the Japs are xenophobic and are buying Sony more out of nationalist loyalty. If it has to do with 360 hardware failures, just look at this blog. And why pay nearly twice as much for a system if any games I want are either 360 exclusives or get multi-platform releases? The Sony fanboys try to defend the PS3's paltry library (I won't get into a hardware debate because, yes, the PS3 is superior there), but let's look at what games there are and whether I want to shell out the money for a PS3 over them:

Resistance: Fall of Man- I already have Gears of War, thanks. Wait, it's a different game? Well, if you say so.

MGS4- Only odd numbered Metal Gear Solid games are any good. Rose ruins everything.

Any racing title- You're probably one of those people who thinks drifting didn't exist until the early 21st century (actually started in the '50s).

Little Big Planet- If you ever even presume I would be caught dead playing that, I ask you to go fuck yourself and die.

Sorry, it's been one of those days.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Koei Teaches History

My 360 continues to show the vitality and tenacity of a lawyer for the Church of Scientology.

Oftentimes, when trying to adapt a story from history, real history just isn't interesting enough. That's where artistic license comes in. It can really help make a story interesting. I forget where I saw it, but there exists a list of movies that were improved by their historical inaccuracies. But sometimes it can go a bit too far. The Dynasty Warriors games (and its spawn) are a fine example of this. Having a clear, definitive victor at the battle at Wu Zhang? Acceptable. Having Edward the Black Prince team up with Henry V to battle Joan D'Arc, with elephants, and wizards? Okay guys, now you're starting to push it. Having Paptimus Scirocco and his harem team up with Judau Ashta to battle against Master Asia? Damn it, this was already fiction BEFORE you guys messed with it!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Pretty Bullets

The XBox 360 continues its march towards victory. Victory over... something.

I have a soft spot for shmups but I'll be honest and say that Ikaruga is starting to grate my nerves. It's not that it's bad, far from it. But it flies in the face of established shmupping conventions. Normally, you're supposed to dodge incoming fire. Ikaruga encourages you to fly face first into enemy bullets (presuming they're properly color coded). This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't that I was so distracted by figuring out what color I was supposed to be that I crashed into a wall. The vast majority of my deaths in that game have been wall related. Couldn't I just go back to dodging bullets? I'll go play Donpachi now.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Would You Kindly?

Still up and running despite the fact that I could make soup on the heat brick.

Still on BioShock, I understand that the ability to shoot bees is pretty cool. But it's incredibly impractical, in both the game and real life. If you want to hurt someone, bees could certainly hurt but lighting them on fire probably hurts more. If you want to stun or distract them, in reality they are more likely to run away from the bees than stand in one place swatting, and in the game you have the ability to freeze people. Also, I'm no entomologist, but I'm fairly certain bees don't have some kind of IFF signal to differentiate between the bee shooter and the bee target. This applies in-game, as your own bees will attack you if they lose the target. Crowning moment of cool but impractical? Maybe.

Friday, July 11, 2008


No news. Migraine.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It Keeps Going and Going...

My 360 is running like Jack Chick from an angry God.

What will probably end up happening is that everything after the first sentence of a post is going to turn into a commentary on whatever game I'm playing. Twenty bucks says most of you will stop reading after the first sentence.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

And So 1 Day Passes

The XBox 360 is still running. And let me tell you something, BioShock really cranks up the difficulty between 'easy' and 'medium' settings. I mean, if it weren't for the whole 'vita-chamber immortality' spiel then medium difficulty would actually be decently challenging without being frustrating. But on easy difficulty you have to be actively suicidal in order to die. It's a bit disconcerting when you first play the game on easy, then notch up the difficulty only to find that the cannon fodder now takes up to 4 shotgun blasts to the head at point blank range to go down.

1 Year And Still Going

Just getting this started by letting you know that, as of yesterday, my XBox 360 is still working.