Thursday, April 29, 2010


In the event any of you cared, I wanted to share that my 360 is still full of pith and vinegar, figuratively speaking.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Natal Is A Terrible Idea

If I gave a flying fuck about motion controlled games, I'd get a Wii. If I wanted to flail around like I was playing tennis or running outside, I'd got outside and play tennis or run. That's what I never understood about motion control, we're trying to make the controls feel like you're really doing the action that's on-screen, or you could just go outside and get some sun you fat fuck. It's like when The Sims first came out:
"You can make friends and get a job!"
"Wow, and here I thought we could just do that in real life."

While I'm bitching, could someone who's into the 2-D platformer retro-gaming explain the appeal to me? Without referencing nostalgic everything-was-better-when-I-was-young. It's the same twitch reaction gameplay you'd see in, say, Modern Warfare 2. There's a crippling lack of story that we've been complaining about for nearly twenty years. The only appeal I can imagine is nostalgia. It's like "Hey, remember how 'Contra' was awesome?!" Yes, I do. In 1987. Then I started playing Metal Slug because it was better. Now if you'll excuse I'm going to play Gears of War because the technology means we don't have an excuse anymore. At least with retro-style strategy games or RPGs there's a depth of design that allowed them to hold up over time. Platformers don't have that depth, and I liked Super Mario Bros. 3 too but fuck you it didn't have depth. It's a fucking platformer.

I really should stop watching Game Overthinker, his Nintendo fanboyism does this to me.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

We Called It "Total Annihilation"

I'm not a big RTS fan, but I'm told Supreme Commander 2 (spiritual bastard child of Total Annihilation) is one of the few console RTS games that get the controls right. And considering that much of the action and resource management is taken directly from its illegitimate parent, my inner fanboy is probably obligated to play it at some point.