Thursday, July 25, 2013

Patch AhDou

Dear Player,

We would like to inform you that the announced patch for Dynasty Warriors 8 is all a lie.  The soul-crushing slowdown and the tendency for the game to freeze just as you beat Guan Yu at Fan Castle are not flaws, they are intentional design decisions.  All of this is to punish you for being a foreign devil.  We see no potential profits in globalization and do not want your filthy, foreign hands sullying our game.

Omega Force

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Round Up

Okay, so first things first, most of my creative energy has been directed towards a different blogging project.  Second, I got a new giant hard drive for my XBox, thus allowing me to download games pretty cheaply.  As such, instead of getting maybe two or three games a year I've been getting one or two games just about every month.  So, rather than writing a giant post for one game, here's a quick rundown of my thoughts on games I got but haven't written on.

Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim
Replaced Fallout 3 as greatest game to date.  And still holding strong.

Dynasty Warriors 7
The story mode is pretty good, but Conquest Mode gets tedious and grind-y.  Otherwise, it's Dynasty Warriors, so it's exactly as you expect.

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3
An expanded roster and a vastly improved relationship system make up for the tiny, oft repeated maps.  Also, controlling certain fields now gives various bonuses to the holder, like launching nuclear weapons at enemy fields (there's your Antarctic Treaty at work).  Japanese language DLC means that Amuro Ray and Ribbons Almark can have a conversation right before you have an aneurysm.

Saints Row 2
Like Grand Theft Auto, but goofier and actually fun.  Territory control gives a meaningful sense of progress.

Red Dead Redemption
Like Grand Theft Auto, but with horses and actually fun.  I used to think I didn't like Grand Theft Auto-esque games, now I realize I just don't like Grand Theft Auto.

Mortal Kombat
Decades later, still not as good as Street Fighter.  But this latest installment is actually an entirely competent and enjoyable game.  I can't decide if the over-the-top violence crosses the line into parody or if it's just puerile.

Gears of War 3
Completely reversed my opinion of Karen Traviss.  Absolutely brilliant game if you're into cover-based shooters.

Gears of War: Judgement
Weak prequel.  Decently fun, but feels less like a full game and more like an old bonus Challenge Map Pack.  Tries way too hard to be Unreal Tournament when we already have that.

Dragon Age: Origins
I'm not really an RPG fan so much as a fan of very specific RPGs (like Final Fantasy V).  That being said, this game is the reason I plan on getting Dragon Age 2.  Not perfect by a long shot, but still pretty damn good.

FarCry 3: Blood Dragon
Pure 80's awesomeness.  Also the reason I got FarCry 3.

FarCry 3
Less awesome and more gritty than Blood Dragon, but still a great free roaming FPS.  My problem was debating if I wanted to actually save my "friends" since most of the characters seem to deserve what they get.

XCOM: Enemy Unknown
The Random Number God hates you.  Great game, especially since there's no proper Front Mission games on the horizon and this has become the last bastion of turn based strategy.

Call of Duty: World at War
Tedious and unenjoyable.  The only thing I got out of it was the catharsis of setting Imperial Japanese soldiers on fire.

Modern Warfare 3
As a guy who actually liked the first two games, this was deeply disappointing and dull.  I blame the behind-the-scenes drama after Modern Warfare 2.

Maybe updates later.  Maybe not.